Before I had the baby my days were filled with brunches, shopping, auditions and rehearsals. I won’t lie…it was a kick ass life. I adored it! I had some days where there was nothing going on and I lounged all day, maybe got a mani/pedi and then crashed on the couch for some Law & Order and take out.
I had the luxury of getting extremely upset about gossip, whether about my friends or me. I had the time and the inclination to be interested and yes, sometimes judgmental about the comings and goings at my theatre company and was tremendously vulnerable to others judgments and gossip about me. (Now of course I simply cannot believe I got so upset over all that stuff!) I had a great circle of friends who I at least talked to on the phone 3 times a week if not every day!
Now I spend every day with the cutest little man I’ve ever met, but as a stay at home mom I find myself thinking things like:
“Sam Wiggle got a haircut! He’s looking good, I wonder if he’s been working out!”
“Seriously, someone needs to tell Anthony to step away from the plastic surgeon!”
“I totally know all the choreography to the Wiggles and the Fresh Beats. Is that awesome or sad?”
I decided it’s awesome because:
a. when I dance along it makes my kid crazy happy
b. I’m counting it as working out. It’s aerobics, right????
Also? I totally haven’t discouraged Max when he points at Sportacus (Yes. He loves that damned Lazy Town) and says emphatically “Da da!” Who’s your Daddy? Sportacus, indeed.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a bad mom where television is concerned. Both Zach and I are the type of people who have the tv on all the time, it’s white noise to us. I was a latch key kid for a long time and the tv was company to me. I kept it on while playing, while reading, doing homework (probably should have turned it off then). So when we had Max it didn’t occur to either of us to turn it off.
We learned very early on that Max is a visual learner, it’s extremely clear that as of now that is his learning style, so we began early on having kid friendly things on television as our background noise. And when we do have on adult programming (And by adult, I mean The Office, Modern Family or GLEE, not *cough* adult programming *cough* ) he really isn’t all that interested unless there is music.
Max is a kid who can and does play on his own, as I was, and sometimes I want to play with him and he’s like ‘get outta my face woman, can’t you see I’m reading this book and giggling to myself?!?! You don’t interrupt that.’
But the TV is always droning on. As we play with blocks, or as I put away the laundry…Sesame is in the background. So far this hasn’t seemed to hinder his development in any way. He does not throw tantrums when we turn it off for nap time, or want it on if it does happen to be off. He is meeting all the learning milestones and has caught up physically but I still can’t help but think I need to turn off the dang tv! So I’m going to.
It’s like breaking up with a lover, turning off my beloved television. We’ll still be friends but we won’t see each other all the time.
Max is naturally curious and interested in just about everything and I want to encourage that. He knows blue and red (Cookie and Elmo anyone?), he knows up and down, he is learning things at a rate that is blowing my mind. I think, more for me than for him, the white noise of the tv needs to go away.
Dear television, it’s not you…it’s me.