Oh Target, how I love you so. I do. I crave your company every single day, and you always leave me wanting more. Please never leave me, because I would surely perish without, at the very least, bi-weekly visits.
The moment I arrive I feel giddy, almost drunk and swoony. How do you do this to me every time? I’ve no resistance to you. None at all.
You are such a temptress, Target. You tease me with bargains on skin care and organic items and then BAM! You blindside me with cute strappy sandals and adorable designer shirts.
I am powerless to resist you, I don’t even try anymore. I find excuses to visit…I just need diapers. I need chewies for the dog. I need a bra. I need…something.
Our affair is a lasting one, we will never outgrow one another. Even if I became a millionaire tomorrow Target, I would never forsake you.
My husband, he knows. He’s not happy about it, but like the good man he is he chooses to view our love affair as one of my bad habits. It’s as if I chew my nails or pick at zits. Not pleasant, but he loves me enough to overlook it. Most of the time. I neither chew my nails or pick at zits, so at least I’ve got that going for me.
You’re good to me though, Target. You send me home with gifts for him as well. You send me home with razors and DVD’s. Little things you know he would enjoy, and I think he appreciates it. It makes him more tolerant of our love affair. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
Other people recognize your glory too. How sweetly you’ve bedecked me. I have no shame when someone says “I love your outfit” and I realize I am head to toe showing your love.
Whenever I have a problem I run to you first and you have never once let me down. From Halloween to Christmas. From intimate dinner parties to last minute birthday celebrations. I can always count on you. It only makes me love you the more.
I crave your sheets and towels, new bedding and end tables. And oh! Our online affair only adds to my need to see you more. You’ve added more and more to your beauty products on line, and real wood furniture! Thank heavens my husband doesn’t check my internet history or he would surely be jealous of all the time we spend together, without actually being together.
Oh? You’ve got some new great baseball equipment that’s perfect for this Summer? Tiny gloves so he can teach our son to play? Perfect. That will surely ease his anger, and even provide us with more time together as I would be utterly useless at helping teach the baby baseball!
I know…We visited just this morning but I already feel your call. I love this new little tank shirt I got, perhaps I need it in another color? It was only $9.99. Maybe when the baby wakes we will sneak on out to you.
What’s that you say? You have new Elmo toys and Summer clothes for him?
We’ll be right there.