Dude where’s my…what was I looking for again?

I’m not going to lie to you. I’m a bit of a scatterbrain about certian things. I can feel your shock. Duly noted. I am also lazy about certain things. (oh, shut it you!) This laziness is clearly evidenced that despite Hunky Paul’s protestations that my hair is my crowning glory, I continue to wear it in some sort of sloppy bun 90% of the time. I am the hotness. (not so much)

The American Dream features five cars in the driveway. Sometimes it’s a highly choreographed event when someone who is in position one wants to leave the abode. Sometimes if TOTT is parked behind me I will not waste a second and take his car instead of mine. Nothing gets between me and five minutes of alone grocery shopping! His car is always cleaner – one of the perks of not carrying someone under age three on the regular – and it features great music which only adds to the allure of a short vacation trip to pick up goodies.


After I’ve taken a quick side trip to Starbucks finished the shopping, I come out of the store heavily laden with treasures such as laundry detergent and toilet paper and I take one last breath, relishing the few remaining moments of solitude and I think one thing:

Where the eff did I park my car?

I wander about the parking lot nonchalantly pushing the cart up and down the rows of parked cars looking for my little Honda.  Looking left and right before I remember I took TOTT’s car! In the immortal words of Homer:  D’oh! (of The Simpsons, natch. Not The Odyssey) The next step is to wrack my mommy addled brain to remember what TOTT’s (clean) Camry looks like, invariably approaching one that is decidedly NOT his.

*sidenote: my apologies to the nice woman who was chatting on her phone, minding her own business while sitting in her Camry in the Giant parking lot. Sorry I scared the bejeezuz out of you when I tried to put my groceries in the trunk of your car. Also, awesome collection of beanie babies you’ve got in the back window. Those things are so au currant.

Finally, and embarrassingly, I find TOTT’s car and collapse into it. Sitting for just a few extra moments enjoying the solitude (read: triumph of having found the car). I might even sneak a few minutes of Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.

And maybe, just maybe I might make a blog note or two on ye olde iPhone Notepad. Multitasking brilliance right there.

See? Scatterbrained about some things. Brill about others. It’s all about balance people.

8 thoughts on “Dude where’s my…what was I looking for again?

  1. Hahaha! I am so right there with you! Sometimes, it's like I'm walking around sleep walking or something. And yes, I am the special person walking around the parking lot setting my car alarm off trying to find it. Good times šŸ™‚

  2. *high five for blog noting on the iPhone*That's what I love to hear!The best part of all of this is that you tried to load your groceries into someone else's car. Because I have tried to unlock a car that was not my own before. And then stood there for several minutes thinking "WHY is my key NOT WORKING!?"

  3. I have walked up to cars that were not my own at least 3 times that I recall, once at the airport…I forgot what garage I parked it…and like Salt above I threw fits trying to figure out why my key wouldn't work only to recognize something wasn't quite right. I don't have a rearview mirror lei, or what's that carseat doing in there? (before baby)I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one!!

  4. Oh yeah, I hear this one…I have Toyota Corolla and there's always a million of them in any parking lot…I have scared a few people. Another good one is when I start putting my groceries in other people's carts when I'm in the store. My purpose in life may be to brighten people's day with a good belly laugh at my expense.

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