Today we were lazy. The Boss and I stayed in our pj’s until after lunch, changing into comfy shorts and T-shirts for nap. Lazy. Oh sure, I cleaned and we played together, but by and large the day was spent cuddling on the bed, watching scholastic book movies and nodding off.  Followed by a three hour nap.


I was drinking in all the cuddles and sweetness I could before the epic two year old monster returned. The monster must be on vacay or perhaps taking a post Emmy recoup becuase today he was sweetness and light. Perhaps we tired him out this weekend! My room has become The Boss’ favorite place to hang out, as if features three things he can’t get enough of: The Wiggles On Demand, a king sized bed for bouncing on, and of course…Fender the Supah Kitteh.

I love this kitten and will cry a thousand tears when we find him the perfect home. But my tears? Nothing compared to The Boss’. Every morning I hear his sweet mewlings over the monitor waking up slowly. Drowsily figuring out where he is. Then it never fails “Open the door! Wanna see Mommy! Open the door Mommy!” Then one of the highlights of my day: he wraps his sleepy warm self around me, burrowing his face into my neck and we rock in the chair quietly….for a few minutes before he pulls back and announces “go see Sammy! Baby have it a Baby Kitty Mo!” Then pointing and leaning towards the door he insists we go to my room where we crawl into bed and then all four of us snuggle up. The Boss cuddled close to me, Puppy Bear draped across our feet and Baby Kitty Mo (aka Supah Kitteh aka Fender) purring away smushed in the slight valley where our bodies touch. It’s heavenly. I could stay there all day.

This afternoon, around five, after The Boss had woken from his nap and had a snack I caught him singing Baby Mine to the kitten, the two of them drifting in and out.

Lazy day.

I need to get out more. Or at least change the channel.

Years ago, I used to write snarky fashion recaps for my friends, I  really loved cracking my friends up, but I haven’t done it sonce we moved.  This year I thought to myself… Self, perhaps you ought to do that on the blog, even if  you am woefully out of practice.

 I mean I can’t believe someone told January Jones that if she dressed up as the NBC Peacock (or taking over for  Miss Kitty the saloon owner on Gunsmoke) she’d stand a better chance at winning.

 And Christina Hendricks’ lavendar get up nearly caused Fender the Supah Kitteh to give himself a kitteh concussion as he kept leaping at the tv for those feathers.

Courture Cat toy. {Kitteh noggin+TV screen= tiny dizzy cat.}

But more than  the fashion, I was distracted by the fact that I haven’t seen more than half of these shows! Before I had  The Boss and we moved from LA I would have known them all…and someone who was working on each one. But now I am thinking what the heck is Treme? Did Lauren Graham forget to take off her Red Lobster Bib before hitting the red carpet?

And someone feed Lea Michelle for the love of God! (The Boss will let me watch Glee)

The times they have changed for me. I’m pondering how Wow Wow Wubsy not represented in the best comedy categrory? Why was Widget overlooked for her groundbreaking portrayal of a young lesbian in a small town?

 Moose and Zee would sweep the Variety category.  Where, oh where  was Joey Fatone’s Special Guest star nomination for his gripping performance as the baseball player who had to make the heart rending choice between the big game and his son’s birthday party on The Imagination Movers?

ROBBED, I say!
I also say I need to step away from the toddler tv!

Keri Russel’s BFF was not lying when she said “you’ll totally wear this bridesmaids dress again!”

What…just WHAT IS THIS???

It’s a shame I’m not snarking, because Rita Wilson really rocked that laugh-in beaded curtain “I know we use this to separate the living room from the dining room…but I think I’ll wear it to the Emmys!”

And it was really lovely of Anna Paquin to take time out from her busy bull fighting schedule to attend.

Fer reals a lot of change has happened in Hollywood if Kelly Osborne is one of the best dressed.

{photos from}

Friday Fabulousness~ That’s Detective Minks to you!

First off it’s Mumsy’s birthday! Happy birthday to my mom. The  bestest of the bestest! I love you Mom, you are the fabulousness for sure!

I am so tired you guys! Last night I shot ALL NIGHT, so I hope you’ll forgive this being up a little late! I dragged my weary self home at 5 am and The Boss thought the verysecondmyheadhitthepillow at 5:45 would be the perfect time to wake up. I coaxed him back to sleep, and when he woke an hour or so later (I don’t know. Mama was asleep.) My mother in law and husband got up with so yeah, they are the fabulousness today too!

I love being on set it is so fun, even when you have  a 10 pm call time! Anyway, I got to play a cop last night, and oh yeah you know I got my Markiska Hargitay on! I don’t usually get to play tough characters and although this was a very small part on a tv show {a reinactmet}  I am totes excited about it. The cast and crew were very nice and even when it got very late and everyone was very tired, the crew were still total professionals and I had a great time working on the show. Lots of fun!

After two years out of the game I have now auditioned for five things and booked three of them. How ya like them apples?
Yay me.

So this weeks fabulousness is WORK! And coffee. Because you cannot live through the day after night shoot without coffee. At. All.
What was fabulous in your life this week? I want to know! Leave me a comment and link up! I’m thinking of showcasing some of your favorites on mondays. Some of them are SO good, I think YOUR fabulousness is becoming my fabulous! I love reading your posts and find myself saying out loud to Fender, Puppy Bear and of course, The Boss:

Oh! That IS fabulous!

Plus now you can all say you know someone who has been on AMERICA’S MOST WANTED! {as a cop…not a suspect!}

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I’m not crazy I’m just a little unwell.

The Boss shows a great deal of promise in the painting arena. Promise that we are both still covered in paint. 

Toddlers are strange, strange little creatures. It’s like living with a tiny scizophrenic these days and I never know which baby I am getting. Today I just hoped that when he woke up from his nap he would like me again. 

Actually first I prayed he would NAP for love  of all things holy. He did. But just barely. 

Today? In a word…it sucked. Or rather I sucked. I sucked at motherhood, and really is there anything worse to suck at? I’m not any good at this lately. It’s like the game has changed and no one told me the new rules. I am confused and sad and exhausted from saying:


I heard myself sounding exasperated and mean, sounding mean while speaking to my baby. It killed me a little but really how many times do I have to tell him to hold my hand and stay on the sidewalk!? Apparently 20 million more. 

 I’m tired. And sad. Dissapointed in myself for not having a reserve of patience and kindness. I need a break. But I don’t want anyone to spell me, I don’t want to hand him off to someone else. I want to be good at this, to be kind and patient even during the tantrums.

Today I booked an acting job. I keep forgetting I am an actor. It’s small but legit. I was too harried to be too excited about it. Then  there were union problems. Somehow amidst raising a baby and moving a bunch of times some things slipped through the cracks.  Union problems that needed to be handled before I film. Tomorrow. While TOTT worked his magic to make everything work out for me and the union handled everything over the phone, The Boss dumped a package of mini wheats on the couch.

They’re still there because I just.can’t. right now.

I’m working on a footstool and a chair  now. He wanted to paint them. I let him. I couldn’t stand one more tantrum today. I am glad I did. Despite the mess and the fact that I will surely have to redo them, for ten minutes we had fun. We laughed and even though I am covered in paint, it was a small price to pay.

I’m hoping that he went to sleep tonight thinking of those moments instead of hearing my strident voice ringing out:


 I know that’s what I’ll be hearing in my head all night.

I need a break.


the truth, the whole truth.

Max at The Wiggles ]

I cannot tell a lie. I am 25. Okay, I can tell a lie and that one was it. So now you’ll know I am telling the truth from here on out. It’s a truth that was hard to come to grips with. It’s a truth that rocked the way I feel about myself. It’s a truth I need to face.

Here is the truth:

The Wiggles? Were awesome.

From the moment we arrived it was nothing but a blast. The place was obviously bursting with all the kiddie energy and it would be easy for all the teens managing the front of the theatre to be grumpy about ten bajillion toddlers running around dressed like four dudes from australia, a dinosaur, and a pirate, but they weren’t. They were loving it.  One guy, about 18 years old charged every kid who wanted to come in a high five and a ‘beauty mate’ to get in. The Boss got a big kick out of that.

But I think TOTT and I got a bigger kick out of it.

Listen people, I have done my fair share of kids shows and it is a rare thing when the true joy of performing for children shines through. It was clear from the first note that The Wiggles, love their job and more important than that, they genuinely love children. It was a near two hour show and those cats never stopped moving. What a ride!  They take the time to read every sign the kids have made and go into the audience to collect roses for Dorothy and bones for Wags.

Someone may have made the three adults who were sitting on the aisle move so that someone’s toddler could get to the aisle and give his roses and bone to Sam Wiggle. That was a wise move on my, I mean someone’s part, because then The Boss was able to get his Hush-a-bye Your Bear groove on free range style. Seriously, the leaders of the world should attend more kids concerts. Those little buggers were dancing and grooving and playing together, no thought to race or religion or even physical ability. Further proof to me that hate must be taught. Kindness is our natural state of being, my peeps! Don’t mock but it was really very touching to look up the aisle and see hundreds of kids all dancing and singing together.

We were ten kinds of sad and twenty kinds of dissapointed that The Boss’ fav Wiggle, Murray {the king of guitars, natch} wasn’t there. The Wiggles had kindly provided a little something for the ladies in his understudy, a 6’5′ dude named- wait for it- Ringo. He was fantastic, except for one thing…he doesn’t play guitar. Never fear, The Boss’ VERY favorite character Captain Feathersword to the rescue! Now, I myself have mocked the good  Captain on the daily but that guy does it all. Guitar, bass, acrobatics, and he was high-larious.  I want to do a show with that guy!

I had been so grumpy when TOTT had spent the day getting us tickets while I took down wall paper, but it was so worth it.

 As a performer I was envious of them and I appreciate what they do. As a mother, I can only say I am grateful. It was a wonderful experience for The Boss. And judging by all the parents singing along, it was pretty good for them too.

Just another service we offer here at the American Dream.

When Minky passed away I was very I shall never have another cat again. Then Saturday night my mother in law tentatively knocked on my bedroom door at almost midnight and said “there’s kitten crying outside, I can’t get him!” So there we were,  two women looking for a kitten in the middle of the night with a quickly dying flashlight. In pajamas. I was in pajamas. Not the cat. I should get him some though…cuz he is the cat’s pajamas. {really? Someone should take away my blogging privileges for that one} I’ve been teased about being a pied piper of stray cats on about ten billion occasions but this little guy was tricky.

He was also starving. Hunger won out and soon his little flea infested self was nestled in my arm, as soon as we were inside he took to hiding under the nightstand.  Luckily this little dude is an optimist and unblinkingly submitted to a lovely bath {or ten of them} and some flea medication. He snuggled into TOTT’s towel covered lap as flea removal surgery was administered. {just like Minky}  It was Minky all over again. We stayed up with her watching the fleas leap off her tiny kitten body and washing them down the drain.

Last night this poor stray was subjected to some more tweezering as this here squeemish gal removed even more tiny ticks than fleas. Ok, that’s an exagerration, but I did remove one from his eye lid. HIS EYE LID!

He’s a sweet little dude. Cuddlerific, that’s what he is. I forgot how fun a kitten was.  The Boss promptly announced “Baby Kitty Mo toes in paint!”

Then decidedly stated “Baby Kitty Mo a black and white guitar!”And that’s how this tiny furball came to be known as FENDER.


The American Dream boasts three other cats and one anxious Puppy Bear, so Fender cannot stay. I am on the hunt for the PERFECT home from him. And I am going to be so picky. Because I love him, I always said Minky would send me a kitten when I  was ready. When we brought him inside TOTT said ” Is your kitten here?”

I wish.  He is the awesome. Plus, he plays a mean game of tiny toddler basketball.

Friday Fabulousness~ Friday I’m in love!

As you read this we are off to see The Wiggles. The Wonderful Wiggles of Oz. {get it, cuz they are from Australia? I crack myself up. Also, I’m certain I am not the first person to make that joke.} Oh yes, it’s time to use those VIP tickets that TOTT spent all day on the computer securing whilst I sweated and scraped away the 1984 wall paper that graced our bedroom wall. And by graced of course I mean DISgraced. Gross. But it’s gone all gone!

Anyway, the week was a tough one and Wednesday The Boss suddenly became possessed by some two year old whiny, clingy, angry, screamy, hitting toddler demon. It about did me in, especially because I have no tolerance built up. The Boss is…well an easy kid. However I needed somethings that I couldn’t go to Target for (*shakes fist at Target* ) so I fought the angry octopus that was my son and together we braved Kmart.

Oh, my stars and garters…NEVER AGAIN!

Kmart just about did me in. And you know that screaming, angry child that you wish the parents would just remove from the store? Yeah. My sweet cherub {demon} was that child. . The word exasperated does not come close to accurately describing my state while waiting in line. Also? My apologies to the twenty something adorable blond girl trapped behind us. She was clearly making mental notes to herself which included ‘does Kmart sell condoms?’ and  ‘must remember to take my pill. am not ready for that’. Nothing is better birth control than a screaming child. I smiled at her and explained that he is not usually like this, she just smiled that oh-my-god-get-me-out-of-here smile and blankly nodded.  I died a little. I paid as quickly as I could; noting that Kmart is NOT any cheaper than my beloved – and boycotted- Target.

I miss you Target.

But then I got home, and there were two packages. One for me, and one for The Boss. He clapped his little hands and cried “presents”ummm, should I be disturbed that he knows this word so well already?  For him a Toy Story Woody guitar. For me? My NEW NETBOOK!!!!! I’m going to have this netbook’s baby y’all. It is THE FABULOUSNESS this week! Remember back in the days of old when I did the Mommy Blogger video for NVIDIA? Well, they sent me this here netbook to thank me. I lurve it. It’s just big enough to blog and websurf and write on without the screen being claustrophobic. Plus I get to have a picture of The Boss as my desktop. Bonus, cause I still love his little demon ways. Now if I could just find my Bit Defender software I was saving for  this occasion!

Added bonus, at BlogHer gave out a tiny retractable mouse. Dude. This is rocking my decorating blog hopping world. Scroll button FTW! So…free computer and free mouse are my fab.

But more importantly than my free goodies this week was this, which was priceless to me: The Boss was downstairs hanging with his Bob Bob (grandpa) and I heard him saying go upstairs see mommy. I met them at the top of the stairs and The Boss gave me alook that felt like Christmas morning, wrapped his arms around my neck and said go cuddle with mommy in mommy’s room. Snuggle on the bed with mommy.

That was the most fabulousness evah. Especially after the day we had. I love him ten ways till Sunday.

What was fabulous in your life this week! I want to know, link up with your fabulousness post and leave me a comment to let me know!

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The thing about The Boss is…

He is officially a BOY.

And dang if he isn’t the coolest cat I know. He might look bad ass, but he woke me up with a loud “MOMMY! I WANNA SNUGGLE!” this morning. Needless to say, snuggling ensued. He drums, plays guitar, sings Twist and Shout {among other Beatles hits}, he is generous with his kisses and hugs, and wants you to know he would like to go outside right now to splash in the rain. I think I will let him. As soon as I get dressed. {yes, it IS 10:30, what’s your point?} The Boss named the stuffed Dog Lara gave him Mugsy, because WWJD has a bulldog named Mugsy. He loathes diaper changes, but announces he will need one in a moment. He is open to negotiation in the matter, and will allow himself to be changed…if the price is right. Fruit snacks are like gold round these parts lately. He prefers a fork over a spoon, unless cereal is involved. He will reject any mini wheat deemed lacking in frosting. He holds a pencil properly, which blows my mind, and spends a great deal of the day doing things like puppy. He can count to ten, but only if he’s in the mood and never in front of strangers. He makes an awesome monkey and fishy face and will grace strangers with that show once in a while. He says hi to almost everyone he meets and will steal your girlfriend if you’re not careful. Flirting is one of his most practiced skills.

All he wants for lunch is hummus, or whipped cream. {mean mommy denying him the ‘zipped’ cream!} He informed us yesterday that my favorite color is pink {correct}, Daddy’s is blue {also correct} and Aunty Kelly’s is chocolate. When he gets excited he dances and sings the Hot Dog Song from  The Mickey Mouce Clubhouse.  If he really needs me he’ll sing oh mommy to the tune of oh Toodles. 

He would rather watch his guitar for beginners video (and I do mean vcr video) than just about any thing else. He refers to himself as Baby. Baby wanna sit on a couch with mommy. Baby sleep on a floor like puppy.

He’d like some hummus now, and also Ican smell what The Boss is cooking,  if you catch my drift {or his drift as the case maybe}. And I think you do. Now, where did I put those fruit snacks?

My heart is broken.

{photo credit}


He stood in the middle of his kitchen, opening his arms wide and said “naaah. I’m just Richie. Or Daddy.”  He hugged me tight, welcoming me into his home and his family. It was Thanksgiving 1998, and I was so thankful to be there.  I would have been alone in Los Angeles that year for the holiday but my {then new} friend Rachell insisted I join her family, and I man am I glad I did.
I had a small family, consisting of simply my mother and myself, Dub and her mother and visits with grandparents. But being surrounded by a lot of people all the time was a dream of mine and it came true at the Hayward’s.

While my family was small, Rachell’s family tree was huge and with many twisting branches. People were always showing up; aunts, uncles, cousins. You were never sure if they were ‘real’ family or adopted, like me…but it never mattered. Once you were family, you were family.

I had no idea who he was. I’d never heard a Little Feet song, had no idea the Dixie Chicks were named for one of their songs. To me he was just Daddy. Richie.  I loved going to his house, loved being around his family. Rachell was and is, so special to me. A true sister. Her sister Natalie, her brother Dan and of course, the baby in the family my Blizzy Bro Severn, became my dream siblings. They are all so close, and no matter how messed up things get, no matter how angry they get with one another…they have are one unit. I am jealous of that. More than jealous, I admire it.

When tragedy struck Sev, we all banded together. We huddled together  in the ICU. We were family. We cried together, raged together, smoked countless cigarettes together and begged every God we could think of to help Severn. Sev is a miracle. A walking talking miracle. You might have thought that at such a time the Hayward’s would have closed ranks. Kept to themselves, only immediate family. And they did close ranks and circle the wagons….with all of us. It was an amazing feeling to know that you are wanted, that MORE people means MORE love. That family sticks with you through good times and bad times, even when the bad times are horrible beyond imagination.  They’ll never know the gift they gave me, and in turn the gift they gave Max.

I haven’t seen Richie since we left L.A. I knew he was sick, I worried about it. He was waiting for a liver transplant. But I just didn’t think he could die. How is it possible that a man who lived such a life – and lived it hard – could go? Now? I’m heartbroken for Rachell, Dan, Natalie and Sev. I’m heartbroken for Sally {another adopted sibling like myself}. I am selfishly heartbroken for myself. Here in DC. Not in LA where I can run to Rachell’s house, always the meeting place, to both comfort and be comforted.
I find it hard to keep in touch. It hurts too much. I miss my friends. I miss Rachell. I hate that I am not there to hug her and tell her I love her. I do. I may not have had a big huge family by birth, but God sure created one for me with friends.

Richie Hayward died on August 12th. My father was born on August 12th.

The front page of the paper this morning mourned the loss of a rock star. But to me he was just Richie. Just Daddy.

 He would love this picture. Maybe The Boss will be as good as drummer as Richie. A lofty goal, he was the best.

Minky’s Monday Musings~ Dina Lohan

Pardon my French, but you know it’s true. She is. She’s even more of a dick than that total doucher who grabbed two beers, said ‘I’m out!” and pulled the emergency slide exit on the airplane. And now he wants his job back. Dick. Also, to anyone who calls that guy a working class hero? I protest! A working class hero is a firefighter who pulls a kid from a fire, or the teacher who stocks her classroom with materials she purchased herself from her paltry income.

Those? Are working class heros. Thank you. But I digress, quelle surprise! Where was I? Oh yes, Dina Lohan. I knew Lindsey was in for it young,  you see she and I had a run in…. and now, Minky’s Monday Musings~

Sigh. For reals I think Lindsey is really talented. I do.  I hope she figures it out asap. And also I hope she goes back to her real hair.  Sorry you have such a crap mom, Linds, but there are people pulling for ya, you can do it!

Want some more Dina Lohan snark? Check out Mom in a Million and stark.raving.mad.mommy. We all agree. Lindsey has talent and Dina is a bad mom. Bad mom, go sit in the corner! I really would like to swat her plasticine nose with a magazine. Perhaps one with a coked out picture of her daughter on it.