Shoppers Anonymous…except you know me.

The time has come for me to admit it. I shop too much. I am huge bargain shopper, but my Target bill (yes, I caved after 1.5 months…I missed you Target! Let’s never fight again.) alone is crazy. No, I didn’t NEED a new little wallet with a cute owl on it, but it was only 9 bucks and it’s soooooo cute! It’s now living in my purse.

My name is Minky and I am a shopaholic.

I’m bored. I miss seeing my friends on the daily. I miss going to auditions. I miss being able to head over to WWJD’s anytime the mood strikes me for a gabfest and TV Snark with wine. I miss working on shows. I miss having my own place to decorate and run. I miss….everything. And I am filling that gap with shopping. I know that we are close to being ready to leave the safety and security of The American Dream and I am antsy. TOTT is crazy supportive of my new craigslist aquisition obsession and projects. I mean the man bought me a paint sprayer for my birthday! {note to self…get over fear of paint sprayer and USE IT! } My IL’s not only allow me to use the backyard and garage as a workstation but they praise my newfound skills and support me as well.

I have so many blessings. The time has come to start focusing on those and not those adorable black boots I want at Target. I spent 100 bones there yesterday on…what, I don’t know. My point is this: I spend too much money on stuff that I don’t need. It makes me feel momentarily happy, who doesn’t love a cute new bag?? I do, that’s why I have 30 of them. Or shoes? Also me. Except…well,  I never go anywhere to show those off. Except Target and Home Depot and my local Thrift.

So here’s the deal…

I do not need a new purse. I do not need new shoes. I do not need any more clothes. I do not need these things just to fill the days and make me momentarily happy.

What I do need: money to fix my car. Make-up, shampoo etc when the stuff I have runs out. To go to the eye doctor for contacts and glasses.To go to the dentist.To finish all my projects. Have another baby.

I’m going to try very hard to stop my extraneous spending so that we can finish up paying off our debt and get settled in a place of our own soon. I am going to try to feed that shopping need with thrift, if I have too.

This will be very hard for me, as I always have a HUGE case of the I Wants, you might have to put up with some virtual I Want shopping on this here blog…but it’s for the greater good.

I’ve got to keep my eye on the prize. Which is a really great pair of boots.

CRAP! No, no boots. Sigh. See? I need your help!

Have you ever given up something to save? Was it hard? What was the hardest thing to give up?

24 thoughts on “Shoppers Anonymous…except you know me.

  1. i’ll hold your hand and we’ll get through this together. i shop to fill voids {see that? i said voids…yes, plural. more than one void…oh, gee.} in my life. it was really bad a few years ago. trust me, i’ve got the credit card debt to prove it and we’re still paying on it all. pretty sad stuff.

    i’m right there with you. i need to focus my energy {and what little money i have} elsewhere.

    and, do tell about this craiglist obsession…i have never, ever been to craigslist.

    • Oh Michelle, Craigslist is a way of life! Once you get started you’ll never buy furniture new again. Maybe we can be a support for one another, I absolutely know what you mean when you say you shop to fill voids. I do as well! Some people drink or smoke…I shop. And I have tostop, or at least become really smart about my shopping…sigh. But it’s so fun and all I want to do is go to Target and get a Starbucks to make myself feel better.

  2. I’ve given up so many ‘things’, I’ve lost count….and I’m slowly becoming more and more okay with that. Though I do totally & completely understand that fill your cart & empty your wallet a la Target syndrome. I think back to when I was first on my own and how strict I was with my dollars when I would go in there. My splurge was either a new bottle of nail polish or a movie. Now I’ve spent oodles on dollars on who knows what!?! And eventually, I’d love a little mini vacation, so again, I’m slowly becoming okay with the I don’t *need* that way of thinking. :>

    And ya know, Target should want to help you out with your end goal, I’m thinking. When you have your own place again, where ya gonna run to for something cute?! Home Depot, thrift store, and I’ll bet, Target! :>:>

    • Karen, That’s the thing I don’t understand…where do I spend all this money? On what??? I do think Target should help me out! I mean can’t you just see the blog posts???

  3. We can support each other! I’m a recovering shop-a-holic myself and even years later the urge to run to Target every 5 minutes never goes away completely. Right now I really want a new pair of boots. And Botox. But bills come first. *sigh*

    • God I miss Botox. Oh I LOVE it. Just love it. NOw I want Botox too. There is a doctor at my salon who does it and if I weren’t nursing…I’d be wanting that too!

  4. And I completely agree with you!
    Why must everything be so irresistible at the lovely Target?!?
    P.S. I love this blog post and your blog is so beautiful!!!
    Have an amazing day,
    xo

    • Oh Ms. Megan, thank you!!! What a lovely thing to say! I am so glad you came by my little corner of the interwebs. I am pretty sure they pipe happiness into the air at Target…oh I want to go!!!

  5. When motherhood took hold I gave up myself for awhile. Where was I ?
    I gave up my body to my baby’s whims. I gave up my classy wardrobe to the diaper fund and spit up.
    I gave up the extra budget that has never gone back. I gave up my free time…al at the ripe old age of 19… I gave up my twenties to sleep depravity.
    While I don’t regret it- I feel like you. This year the shopping as an escape started. I realized the same things as you. In actuality I was grasping to just have me belong to me again…just for a moment. But those shoes won’t make me sexier and get my post partum three baby body back. That next outfit that I thought would scream ” I’m hot. I’m worth it” ended up being thrown off on a bad day when I realized nothing about my fat deposits had changed.
    I decided to pick one thing I can splurge on sometimes. I went with three:) Books, Itunes choices and household decor. i also decided to make myself a counselling appointment for a “tune up”. I was astounded by the support I received. Nothing has changed as of yet- but I feel there is hope. Especially when I know I am not alone in the struggle for balance. So thanks!

    • WORD! To all of this…I love that you give yourself three things. This is so smart because it helps you focus on what you really want to spend your money on! Brilliant.

  6. You know, I like to *claim* that I am not a shopper, but I have the same weaknesses you do for Target & bargain shopping. I can ALWAYS find something the kids “need” at Gymboree or Old Navy. Yesterday I had this incredible urge to go buy something, but I went to the library instead. It’s not the same, but it got me out of the house & I got something “new” — at least new to read for a couple weeks. It’s hard when you’re home w/ a kid, though. Shopping’s something fun to do & hey, Target opens early!! What else are we supposed to do at that hour?

    • I KNOW! And Target has Starbucks…it’s like a haven. I paid off my old navy cc and promptly charged 300 bucks on it. But the kid is all set for clothes for a while. Sheesh, I can burn through money though. I ought to try the library, good suggestion!

  7. It’s a horrible thing I do- When I’m depressed about money, and I’m seriously in the doldrums, I’ll just say screw it! I’m going shopping! I’m not a huge shopaholic, but hey- I could use a little ice cream, new cd, book etc to feel better…..And it’s waaaay too easy to drop $100 at Target.

    We’ve gone through dark times post divorce when I have had to go hungry to feed my kids. I’d eat their leftovers but leave most of the food untouched. I’ve made milk from powder. I’ve scrounged up change just to buy some food. And we are considered middle class! In a nice house, in a nice neighborhood- not posh, mind you, but nice. In fact, my new husband makes more now that he ever has, but because he doesn’t even work in the same state we live in, we have tremendous bills to support was has become a two household family. So, time for me to remember how to be thrifty again. At least when you can’t eat, you lose a lot of weight, right? (trying to think positive!)

    Anyone wanna hire somebody who’s been a stay at home mom since graduating from college???? yeah, prolly not!

    • That is me exactly. THe sadder I am and the less money we have the more I want to shop. I mean we live with my in laws! If I had spent even half as much as I have at Target we’d have our own place.But I’m so bummed out about situation (not living here, it’s actuallygreat but how we got here) that I just want to shop! I am sorry things have been so tough for you. It just sucks.

      • Yeah not having your own place is the suckage! There’s no place like home and I hope you find yours soon!

  8. Oh, I so no what you mean. I started out a saver, turned into a spender, and am now doing pretty decently at saving again though I do end up splurging more often than I should – kind of like binge spending I guess? Right now I guess I’ve given up new clothes, shoes, and things like that. Though I do still buy myself things like new books and magazines. It makes it easier to give up those things since I like buying things for my daughter and trying to save – or at least not go into debt – so we can buy I house soon(ish). . . I hope.

  9. Oh, I hear you! Shopping to fill a need? Check! Buying too many shoes? Check! The list goes on and on…

    I’ve broken my habit mostly by just keeping myself too busy when the kids are in school and I refuse to set foot in a store when I have the kids. It’s doing beautiful things for my bills. ;o)

  10. Oh, I am also a resident in the Land of I Want. I know all too well what you’re talking about. And, I think social media feeds us with all the daily Etsy cuteness and the tweets about what everyone is making, wearing, loving….

    I have no words of wisdom on stopping, but if you figure it out, do tell.

  11. If it helps, I had the epiphany that every time I leave Target, I’ve spent approximately $100. The light bulb finally went off for me one day when I was getting my son’s prescription filled. pharmacy! How convenient! And, once again, I left having spent $100 when I went in for a $4 generic antibiotic. Hmmm…

    I realized it doesn’t matter what you go to Target for in the first place. Diapers and wipes? Somehow you’ll spend $100. Out of mascara, shampoo and lotion? $100. Go in with a LIST and vow to stick to that list (with coupons!)? Good luck with that = $100. Pop in, ONLYFORMILKISWEAR? Ha! $100.

    Doesn’t matter. They are eeeviI retail marketing geniuses who clearly understand how to get us to spend $100 every time we walk thru their bright red doors. We are at their mercy.

    Good luck! If you crack the code, share the secret!

  12. I hate Target. But I don’t hate Target. Make sense? I hate shopping. But I would DIE for shopping. It’s a sick dance me & shopping do. I buy until my hear literally explodes. My heart beats faster the closer we get to the mall parking lot (true story. true story) but then when I spent it all and I come home to my parents house to sleep in my 14 yro sisters room with my husband & son I think. “Damn you Alex!” You need your own house again not another black tank top,

  13. Good for you! John and I are credit card debt free. It took years to get here and it is such an amazing feeling, but it was SO freaking painful to get here. So painful that we’ll be sure to never ever ever ever ever get in that situation again. For years there was: No eating out. No buying stuff, unless it was ab.so.lu.te.ly. necessary. No cable. No extras. No soda. Packing lunch. Eating leftovers more than once (gag). Any area we could eliminate or cut back on, it happened. Even second jobs, just to speed up the process. If I could go back in do it, I would insist on having at least a little, teeny tiny bit of a budget for “fun stuff”.

    You can do it and we’ll support you through it.

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