Valentine’s Schmalentines.

Nothing says I love you like a cheesy gif!

{photo sourceMySpace. No joke}

It’s that time of year again, where high school girls wait desperately for a balloon or cookie to be delivered during class, hoping against hope that it’s from the cute boy they like and not the dork that skeeves them out.

Actually a visit from that super cute student council brat bringing those cookies is welcome no matter who payed the buck to send it, right? You can always lie about who wrote the note. But zero visits? Tragedy.

And then there’s Hallmark and jewelers everywhere convincing you that you neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed those little puppies that sing to each other and a schmaltzy card and your man? doesn’t really care unless he gets you that perfect diamond. And yet, even with all the influence and indoctrination of flowers, candy and jewelry men still manage to screw the pooch on Valentine’s day. (until you’re married for ages and totally count it as a romantic date if he will willingly take you to a chick flick and cold stone afterwards)

I myself have a long and storied history with Feb 14. And that’s because I have a long and storied history of dating losers. And on Valentine’s Day they seem to bring out the crazy. And while I totally was thrilled to receive one guys Letterman’s jacket (when I was 25 for Pete’s sake!) I must say, that the gift that sticks with me has to be a shower head.

I know what you’re asking yourself, was it a fancy rain head shower? Could you program it to your ipod so it water dances with the music? Did it massage like Phillipe the swiss massuere at Burke Williams? The answer to your queries would be no. No, it was your standard 5 buck comes with the apartment issue shower head.

{so bad I couldn’t even find a picture except on a demolition website}

Oh! But it did come with a water proof radio! So…..yay!

Seriously, worst present ever.

This Valentine’s Day I will be on the doctor’s table for the echo ultrasound on the littlest member of our family, and good news about his heart? Seriously, BEST present ever.

I got a huge kick outta my fellow iVoices interviews on the worst gifts they ever received.

What was your worst gift? And did it come with a shower radio? Inquiring minds want to know.

And Happy Valentine’s to you all!

9 thoughts on “Valentine’s Schmalentines.

  1. When I was pregnant with chunky, my husband came home with 6 boxes of Lucky Charms for me. While some people may think this is an awkward and stupid gift, I thought that it was the most thoughful and loving of all gifts I had ever received. I just finished a puking marathon in my first trimester and all that I said I wanted to eat were my Lucky Charms. Yea, my husband is super thoughtful and my hero that day.

  2. Valentines is just the stupidest holiday. The end. However….this post. NOT STUPID. Funny actually, and entertaining. Plus, you sort of share my opinion of the day, I’m choosing to believe, therefore….my love grows ever more for you.

    Here’s to a perfect heart echo for a perfect Day o’ “LOVE”.

  3. I’m with you on the shmaltziness of Valentine’s day, but HOW could you not just LOVE a shower head? We spent our evening at Lowe’s, ording a bathroom vanity top and faucet. We had to special order the vanity top, so the only gift I got was a Lowe’s cheapy grey bucket (for recyclables, to replace the one my husband destroyed) and a $3 outlet cover! We didn’t even go out to eat I was feeling so gross (15 weeks pregnant + fried avocados=2-day food hangover).

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