Just when you want to hold them closer…

Just when you want to hold them closer they go and grow up a bit.

I watched the tragedy in Japan unfold just as everyone else did. With my mouth agape in disbelief and tears snaking their way down my cheeks. How is this possible, how can this happen? How do we even begin to process this? I’m pathetically grateful that right at this moment my sweet boy is too small to understand at all. Friday night he asked to sleep in Mommy’s bed, just as he did every night. This night I said yes. Oh yes, baby please sleep with Mommy! I usually say no, because- how to say this- but The Boss? Doesn’t sleep with me. He wiggles and bounces and happily giggles holding my face in his chubby hands saying “I’m in Mommy’s room!” As much as I wanted to snuggle him, after 3 hours I gave up putting him in his crib where he promptly fell asleep within 5 minutes.

Saturday we took him to the museum where he thrilled to dinosaurs and lost his mind that Gloria, Alex, Melman and Marty were all in the same exhibit. That night he asked  to sleep with me again. It broke my heart to say no, I wanted to snuggle him close. We read extra books, we nursed a little longer than usual. After I placed him in his crib he asked so sweetly for me to stay with him, to sleep on the extra bed. Thoughts of mother’s searching for their babies, and babies crying in shelters for their parents swept away in the tsunami filled my head and I agreed. Laying down on the bed opposite the crib and watching him, listening to his breathing. Every once in a while jerking awake to make sure I was still there.  It was just lovely.

The next night The Boss informed me he was done with his crib and would now sleep in the big boy bed. Wait…WHAT? I’d hoped eventually he’d move to it and Baby2ElectricBoogaloo would move into the crib.

But now? NOW????? I’m not ready…this is too fast. He was JUST BORN!!! But there it is. He’s made up his mind. There was nothing to be done but to let him move into it. He seemed so tiny and fragile in the big bed….I must have checked on him twenty times.

He woke up proud as could be and I woke up with a child who is just one big milestone further from babyhood. Le sob.

I’m forever grateful that I got to spend his last night in his crib listening to him breath those sweet snuffly sleepy breaths. I’ll remember it always.

Don’t worry about the crib, it’s not lonely….someone has made it his home. Which is cool…for now.

p.s. as soon as I find cool bedding and finish the rest of the room for the boys I’ll do a big reveal! But you can sneak a look at the headboard I re-did. $3.50 for that. Hells yeah.

5 thoughts on “Just when you want to hold them closer…

  1. Big step… and sad. I feel for your mommy heart…
    Although the big boy bed is great for snuggling at nap time in their own room. I liked it better than the crib because I could actually lay with them:)
    I guess everything has a downside and an upside…even good things.

    • I have to admit I convinced him too…the second night in the big boy bed he just wanted to go get in his super new exciting bed. I am NOT capable of him moving to a bed AND weaning in the same day!!! I’m hoping to wean soon, I mean he is almost three! But I’ll cry the ugly cry when it happens.

  2. My Parents met you at the Beatles Tribute at the National Harbor, and came home and told me about your blog. I’ve read it but have yet to say “Hi!!”.

    The Boss is too cute! I love your posts! He reminds me so much of my two year old! I too have a case of the sads when I think of my Abby having to move into a “Big Girl Bed”. 😦 It feels like just yesterday I introduced her to her crib! They definitely grow up way too fast!

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