Our doctors appointments on Thursday brought good news. Baby2ElectricBoogaloo is nice and snug in there, weighing in at 4.5 pounds already and despite painful contractions it does not appear that he is coming out anytime soon! Cue the hallelujah chorus and pop the non-alcoholic champagne! And with such glorious news I was upgraded to “rest all you can as much as you can, don’t overdue it but you can start to get back to your life with these twenty billion restrictions” but hello? I get to leave the house on my own! I mean, like I can drive my very own big pregnant butt to Target to get a decaf soy latte! (still no caffeine. hmpf.)
TOTT immediatly had a plan. Me. Him. Hotel vacay stay in DC at the Mayflower Hotel. Now, I love the Mayflower and I have never stayed there…cause well, I live about 30 minutes from there. Buuuuuuuuuuuuut one small babymoon was in order!
I drove! in DC! all by myself! DC is a psycho driver land. Add roundabouts into the mix and I need a Xanax, which of course I can’t have. But thanks to some rather elaborate and calming fantasies that I was indeed Adele, and performing live on SNL I made it safe and sound to TOTT’s office which is just around the corner to the Mayflower and off we went! We got all checked in and headed up in the elevator to our room. A lovely woman and her husband joined us in the elevator and as we started to rise I had a big fat contraction. Our elevator companion’s husband said “Are you in labor? Because I don’t want to deliver a baby this weekend. I mean, I will if I have too but I don’t want too. I’m good at it though.” He gave me a look over and we were like: ummmm. Say what creeper? and oh goody, they were on our floor! It was the oddest exchange, and left TOTT and I speculating that we really did hope he was indeed a doctor!
After a quick refresh we headed out on the town for alittle Italian food and then my very favorite dessert ever…Old Ebbitt’s Peanut Butter Pie. If you are ever in DC I will be happy to escort you personally for a nosh. Delish! TOTT and I realized we were those people. You know the ones who tell the waiter “we’re on a date night! no kid! first time in 2 years….wanna see a picture?” Apparently everyone at Old Ebbitt’s did want to see a picture as soon even the manager came over to congratulate us on Date Night and see pics of the Boss and share pics of his own almost three year old. I guess there is a lot of us out there, just waiting for a date night! After some decaf and finishing off that oh so delicious pie we took a quick walk past the White House at night, all lit up and we slowly made our way back to the hotel.
Side note: I’ve decided that my now galumphing pregnant walk is not a waddle but is a much klassier Pimp Limp. Thank you for your understanding in this matter.
I told TOTT I was prepared to divorce him and marry the mattress at the Mayflower and I meant it. TOTT wisely agreed to be brother husbands with my new love, the mattress, and even brought me extra pillows all while making sure that The Royal Wedding was playing on the tee (as the Boss calls it. And yes, we’ve also become those people. You know the ones who use the vernacular of their tiny person even when their tiny person is not there.)
A quick check out and then it was time grab some (decaf!) coffee and head on home my sweet toddler.Dude. I missed that little bugger.
End note: if you have preterm labor contractions but want to have a quick babymoon get away, may I suggest that you book a room at a hotel that just happens to be hosting the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology? Turns out elevator creeper really was not only a doctor, but an OB!!
And my friends, is God looking out for me!