Things that could only happen to me.

{photo by Gail Boos. I did not drink that Guiness}

We all know my car is trying to kill me right? This car is out to get me. On Friday I got the all clear from awesome Dr. G to get in my little car and drive to DC to meet TOTT, Bob-bob, Auntie Keek and some out of town family for lunch at National Geographic. Their salad bar is the sweetest. Just an FYI. Of course it just for employees and family etc. etc. so you’ll have to trust me on this. The NatGeo caf is the bombdiggity!

Anyway, on the way we had to stop and do one of the Boss’s very favorite things in the world. Get gas. No idea why he loves this so much, mayhaps it’s the fumes? I don’t know, but the boy loves it and every time he plays with his toy cars they all have to stop and get gas. So he was pretty stoked about about a quick fill up at the local station. I decided being out! and free! I would be all ambitious and clean my windows while the tank filled.

Well, don’t you know that car just reached out and grabbed as I scooted my way from the tank to the windshield and I found myself stuck between the wall of the flower planter (who are they kidding with this? Its a gas station!) and my evil car.

By stuck I mean jammed, crammed, unable to move, stuck. STUCK. Couldn’t move, just standing there wedged there. People all around and no one helping this big old pregnant woman. I stood there for a moment, window squeegee raised a bit in the pose of the Statue of Liberty, wondering what to do. My belly firmly squashed up against the car.

So yeah. What was I going to do? I mean, I’m not about to let someone getin my car with The Boss and move it, cause ummm NO and also OUCH! I am stuck! I could feel Baby2ElectricBoogaloo getting antsy from the pressure of being wedged in there. I tried to stand on my tip toes, maybe my girth is a little less and inch and a half lower. No dice. There is no movement happening left, right, up or down. They are going to haveto call the fire department and I will be the laughing stock of all the hot firefighters.

Cause they are always hot, especially when you are at your worst, am I right?

Finally with a mighty (painful) stretch and a roll Baby2ElectricBoogaloo moved and gasp! 1/22 of an inch of space! I popped up on my toes hoping to gain a little more leverage and scooted back towards the gas pump. Freedom!!!!!

Windows be damned. I got myself in my car and got out of there before more people could point and say “That’s the pregnant woman who got STUCK!”

So you can see why I had the salad bar.

14 thoughts on “Things that could only happen to me.

  1. wow. you nailed it. fear of one child in car, not crushing another, and dying of total embarrassment. it could be worse though. you could be one of those really famous people and wake up the next morning to find your the top story in the newspaper, with photos of it. yeah, i always try to look at the bright side of situations. great post.

    • You are right! Thank God the paparazzi wasn’t there to document it! It was hilarious. I really thought I was stuck for good!

  2. j is also a HUGE fan of the gas station. we had to go twice this weekend (once for my car, another for john’s truck) and he was so pumped and talked about it for the rest of the day, each day.

    your car is for realz out to get you and evil. how rude of her to trap you and embarrass you like that!

    glad you’re okay and that you were able to unstick yourself (thanks for scooching baby2) and get the heck out of dodge.

    i will say though, that had the hot firefighters shown up, they would have been completely smitten with you and taken great care of you. ’cause you are awesome.

    • what is it with little boys and the gas station? Bizarre! M&J would have so much fun together. We could jsut take them to get some gas.

  3. Oh, I am laughing! But if I were there when it happened… I promise you, I would not have pointed and laughed… I would have run over and buttered you up and slid you outta there.

    Then laughed later.

  4. I don’t even know you but I swear I would have offered some kind of help!

    Perhaps I should start carrying around some kind of yummy treat that, in a pinch, could serve as get-pregnant-ladies-out-of-trouble lube (as opposed to the kind of lube that got ’em in trouble in the first place, ba-dum-dum). Except the problem is, most treats I make are sticky and I’m sure nobody wants to be further stuck in such a position with extra icing. Not unless the previous-lube-wielder is there to help lick it off, anyway…

    You can see there are several flaws to my grand plan here…glad you got out while I’m pondering away!

  5. Oh no! Couldn’t even imagine. Although when I was pregnant and was working with kids at the time, I was sitting on a curb and went to get up and literally couldn’t. I was stuck and had to ask a 5th grader to help me. Yeah, she couldn’t stop reminding me about that one. πŸ™‚

  6. I was waiting for the point in the story where you gave the Boss the keys and he moved the car to unwedge you. Glad you managed to get out on your own.

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