I have become my mother.

It’s happened. I have become my mother. My mother is a dog trainer, she’s the bestest in the westest (literally she is in Colorado so I guess she is the bestest in the western-mid-westest) Cesar the Dog Abuser ain’t got nothin on my mumsy. She is fantastico. But  she talks to herself. All day long. Non-stop. And it always drove me to the brink of ragetastic insanity. While I was such a delightful and easy going teenager I would be screaming in my head “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST THINK THAT??”It was only due to the fact that yelling that at her would have involved speaking to her that saved her (at least) one of those tirades. Yup. I was such a joy.  Now that I am not an evil teenager and we are sooper close, I must admit that habit if hers still drives me bonkers, but now in that way that only someone you love more than life can make you crazy.

And then yesterday I noticed it. I talk to myself. All day. It happened when I was running errands for the play restaurant that I suddenly needed to make for The Boss.  Huck was with me but sleeping peacefully and I found myself chattering away at well, no one, trying to decide between the 4 inch circles and the 5 inch circles for the stove top. Then I noticed it again as I was fighting with my mini sander to get the opening for the sink justhismuchbiggerwearesoclosewhywon’titfit?!

There was an actual clap of thunder (it’s thunderstorm season round these parts) and I stopped sanding looked up at the heavens as the raindrops began to fall and declared “Holy Crap. I am my mother.”

I know where this new habit came from and Dr. Laura will be thrilled to know that I do not blame my soliloquizing mumsy. I blame my son. My precious, snuggle bug, darling Boss. It’s his fault. He, like most small people, is of an inquisitive nature. Not so much the why of things, but more ‘what’s that they are doing”  & “is she happy?” and so I narrate our day from morning till sleep with the what and how of what we are doing. And when I am not narrating I am answering questions. When I am not answering questions I am responding positively to the 8000 th announcement of Mommy I did it! {Honestly I never get tired of that one. He is so proud of himself and I want that ingrained in him before he goes to school and some asshole kid tries to tear him down.}

So you can see why I am in the habit of talking all the livelong day. Now with Huckie being here I am sure the daily narration will continue for at least another 5 years? Maybe longer if I am blessed with a third mini fun sized person. As long as I have small people in the house that means I don’t need to call the looney bin on myself right?

Sorry mom, watch out for those men in the white coats…. I am not sure if there is a Dog Trainer narrating for dogs clause, but I’ll look into it for you.

p.s. i love you mom, sorry again for being a  train wreck/exorcist like monster for so many years.


Oh and p.p.s. I am over at my new venture The DC Moms writing about my top ten beauty buys under 30 bucks. Give it a look see please? Y’know so I am not talking to myself on the internet too.

6 thoughts on “I have become my mother.

  1. What kind of dog training does your mom do in Colorado? We are now in Colorado again and my FIL’s wife is really involved in the dog training community out here, both wilderness search and rescue and FEMA.

    • She runs Waggins West Dog Training and also the American Treiball Association. I wonder if they know each other, that would be wild!

  2. All is forgiven. Love you always and ever!
    It happens to all of us in time (and with children OR dogs!) The difference is that dogs can’t talk back, but look at us and wag as if we’ve said the most amazing, or puzzling things, and kids just think we’re crazy!

  3. Its inevitable we all take on some aspect of our parents. Hopefully we manage to take the best and drop the worst. I have always talked to myself, having kids for me was not the cause. It helps me process information. I try and be conscious of when I’m actually verbalizing (out-loud) versus an internal dialog when other people are around. But occasional I can tell (usually by the stares) that the words have crept out…

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