Standing Tall

Mommy & Sleeping Huck
This week I wrote a real live article. Like, for a real live y’know, professional thingy. And I get like, paid. How weird is that?

You know what happened? I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated. And then I put it off. I couldn’t seem to find a hook, a phrase to get me started. I couldn’t find my voice, and if there is one thing I do…it is write with voice. But this marked a new avenue for me. This was real. Not that blogging isn’t. Blogging is very real and I owe it so much!  I take blogging seriously,and I work hard on every guest post or assignment. But this was, dare I say it, a JOB.

My insecurities were running at a crazy warp speed. I can’t write. I’ll never be anything. Why didn’t I learn a real skill? Why didn’t I get a degree? Why can’t I lose the last ten pounds of baby weight? I just worried and worried and worried myself into a hurricane of panic.

A casual conversation with a friend brought out an anecdote that just opened the flood gates for my article. The words flowed far past the allotted amount. I felt sick to my stomach as I sent it off. And held my breath till I had a response. It was good. The response was good!

I couldn’t stop smiling all night. I kept reliving the words leaping off the email telling me I had done well. And I physically stood a little taller. Confidence. I felt it and it felt good. It’s been so long since I was confident, really confident and oh my god it was like a welcoming back good friend. A friend that I’m hoping stays a while.

{Join us at Just Be Enough!}

14 thoughts on “Standing Tall

  1. Yay for you! That’s awesome. I would be the exact same way. Oh wait…I ALWAYS procrastinate anything and everything in my life. It just works for me. So glad you got it done and it was a success.
    P.S. cutest pics of The Boss every. So glad you took them instead of getting him graham crackers.

  2. Congratulations!! That is so awesome. You are an amazing writer, so it is no surprise that people want to pay you. Share it with us when you can, okay?!!

  3. self doubt is such poison.

    We need to realize people want us, like what we write, we are being asked to write because there is something there.

    That’s what we need to say, not, “there are so many thousands of times better than me.”

    There, done talking to myself for now..thanks for the space.

    xo

    GO< GIRL!!! SO happy for you feeling happy. THAT's why I'm thrilled most about.

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