ONE.

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My sweet Huckleberry, you are ONE. I cannot fathom life without you. Before you were born I worried, as many moms do, how could I love another baby with the all encompassing love I had for your big brother.

Silly.

When you were born, when your lungs opened up for the first time taking in their first refreshing, shocking life giving gulp of breath- at that exact moment my heart also expanded. My heart grew a new chamber. Each breath of yours is a beat of that chamber. And while I still love your brother with that all encompassing love I have the very same all encompassing love for you. Different but the same. Much as you and your brother are different but the same.

I was always jealous of those your brother gave his love too, wanting to be the brightest star in his sky, so it is with you.But I cannot be too jealous, because the one you love the most, the brightest star in your sky is your brother. You have a smile reserved just for him. A laugh. And a language that only you two share. At your party we asked you what you call Max and you let out a silly polysyllabic squawk – sure enough Max answered. The two of you sit in the back seat of the car and giggle, sharing something we will never understand and neither of you will remember but it makes my heart explode into ten billion shimmers of glitter happiness.

You, Huckie, are a dream come true. We call your spun sugar because you are simply the sweetest baby around. Unless someone takes an iPhone away from you and then there’s hell to pay.

You are my sun, my moon, my breath, my heartbeat. The toughest thing I will ever do in my life is raise you and your brother not to need me, to stand on your own. I love you enough to give it my all.

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But you can always come crawling back to mommy.

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17 thoughts on “ONE.

  1. How can you stand all the cute??

    Happy 1st Birthday, Huck. I cannot believe you’re 1 because I remember when your Mom was still beautifully pregnant with you. But here you are, 1.

    Beautiful letter, my friend. xo

  2. ONE? How is the WORLD did this happen already?

    It is amazing through isn’t it? How a heart can open and expand and be filled by another child…. when you were worried that you could never love another as much as the one you have. But it happens. (And in my case…. every.single.time)!

    Happy Birthday Huck!

  3. Happy 1st Birthday, sweet Huckie!

    As a mother to 2 girls, I am lucky to have an amazing bond with them. Then J came along and the bond he and I have is the same, but different. Raising my sweet loves to stand on their own and not need me is the toughest thing I will ever do, it makes my heart twinge just thinking of it.

  4. Beautiful. Happy birthday, sweet Huck! What I love the most is that you’ll be graduating from college and we’ll be all old and on twitter going, “I remember when Huck was born… seems like just yesterday.” xoxo

  5. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your beautiful boys with us! I’ve love the glimpse into being a mom of two!

    Cheers to you my friend – for a year of great mothering – for making two beautiful boys!

  6. Beautiful letter. I can’t believe it’s already been a year! AMAZING!

    p.s. I love your new blog design. I had been reading in my Reader so this is my first time seeing it! 🙂

  7. What a beautiful, touching and heartwarming post! My baby (my only) is turning one this saturday and I can’t stand it. You put into words everything I’m feeling! Thank you!

  8. Oh, this post is so beautiful! And I love Huck’s little bow tie. 🙂 I can’t believe these babies are one already! I’ve really enjoyed following along on your journey. I like to think of Huck and Sophie as pals. 🙂

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