My sweet Huckleberry, you are ONE. I cannot fathom life without you. Before you were born I worried, as many moms do, how could I love another baby with the all encompassing love I had for your big brother.
When you were born, when your lungs opened up for the first time taking in their first refreshing, shocking life giving gulp of breath- at that exact moment my heart also expanded. My heart grew a new chamber. Each breath of yours is a beat of that chamber. And while I still love your brother with that all encompassing love I have the very same all encompassing love for you. Different but the same. Much as you and your brother are different but the same.
I was always jealous of those your brother gave his love too, wanting to be the brightest star in his sky, so it is with you.But I cannot be too jealous, because the one you love the most, the brightest star in your sky is your brother. You have a smile reserved just for him. A laugh. And a language that only you two share. At your party we asked you what you call Max and you let out a silly polysyllabic squawk – sure enough Max answered. The two of you sit in the back seat of the car and giggle, sharing something we will never understand and neither of you will remember but it makes my heart explode into ten billion shimmers of glitter happiness.
You, Huckie, are a dream come true. We call your spun sugar because you are simply the sweetest baby around. Unless someone takes an iPhone away from you and then there’s hell to pay.
You are my sun, my moon, my breath, my heartbeat. The toughest thing I will ever do in my life is raise you and your brother not to need me, to stand on your own. I love you enough to give it my all.
But you can always come crawling back to mommy.