More proof I need to get off my lazy butt.

Earlier today, just as I was contemplating how I needed to blog and how on earth a week could have passed so quickly…when I got a text message from a certain girlfriend, who shall remain nameless. It said simply: I pinned something for you.

And pin she did.

Chin exercises. As in; got a saggy chin? Tighten it up with these exercises! Now, I can’t say I was offended by such a pin. She and I had just been discussing how the skin under our neck was, shall we say, a little less tight than it was earlier in life? If I am being honest,  I’ve never had a strong jaw line and learned early in theatre make up to give myself a bit of help. This never bothered me too much, but as is the case with the lines on my forehead that have been there since high school; suddenly they bug me a lot. Truvvy said “Time marches on and eventually you realize it’s walking all over your face.” Time? Suddenly is a freaking marching band on my face.

So anyway, you know I re-pinned that good old chin excercise guide and gave it a shot. 20 seconds of leaning your head back and jutting your chin to the ceiling, how hard could it be? Oh tip your head all the way back and make exaggerated kissy faces at the sky? If it tightens my ‘waddle’ you got it, pinterest! Guess what? After the end of the three minutes of intensive chin cardio, I was winded.


Clearly, I need to exercise more. And I am contemplating just such a new commitment right now as I blog and drink a mocha. Cause that’s how I roll.

In other news, Thanksgiving rocked in Ohio with the cousins and they even let me drag them out for a little photo shoot. You will now be forced to look at said pictures of said little cousins. Enjoy.

(perhaps you’re wondering “where is Huckleberry??” Well, he was sick so we kept him at home. I knew it was the right thing, but I felt SO guilty anyway. Especially when we all got hot cocoa. Mine had Bailey’s in it. Boss’ did not.)

What did you do for thanksgiving? Was it glorious? I adore Thanksgiving because it has always been a great holiday for me. From Orphan Thanksgivings in LA to being a part of my husband’s huge extended family celebration, I adore it. And every year it gets better…more kids playing, more family members added. I am, as always, thankful on Thanksgving.

Do you have a favorite child?

Do you have a favorite child? I do not…although I ponder this question whenever it pops up with an earnest contemplation. I love them both with an insane passion…differently, but an equal amount.

Huckleberry is my baby. He is spun sugar sweet. He has two speeds: angel baby and the rarely seen demon baby. There is nothing in between. He yells GO GO! When he drives his cars. He says ” ME ah ME!” when he wants you to give him soemthing. He does the cutest little booty dance whenever he hears the theme to Thomas The Tank Engine. I also do a little dance when I hear that song; it looks a bit like I am sticking an ice pick in my ear but whatever. Huck never met a hat he didn’t like and loves nothing more than a good accessory. Whatever the costume of the day is, he needs all the accoutrements. Hopefully when he really starts talking he will tell me where he put my brand new watch!

And The Boss? Well, he is too smart for his own good. Or rather, MY good. He calls going barefoot ‘being Brittney” he says “Mommy the toes are the basement of the body and the boobs are the family room!” Once during an epic battle of wills he pointed at me and said in a still, quiet voice “you have been warned.” It’s all baseball all the time these days. I miss the days of constant Green Day concerts, but I love hearing him call out I AM THE BEST HITTER IN LITTLE LEAGUE! He asks constantly when his little league will start. At the end of the day,  he snuggles close to me and falls asleep pressing his little body againt mine. I frequently forget how little he really is…

And oh! How they love each other! They are my breath and heartbeat.

So no, I do not have a favorite child. I do however, have a favorite eyebrow. It’s the right one. The left one can feck right off.

Me and Lady MacBeth are exactly alike about washing our hands.

I’ve beent thinking a lot about Lady MacBeth, specifically Act 5 scene 1, the famous out, out damn spot! scene which finds our Lady distraught to the point of sleepwalking through the castle and imaginarily washing her hands. I’m awake of course, and far less distraught, but I find myself washing my hands a great deal lately and yet they are never clean.

 Lady M.:  Here’s the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh! oh! oh!

Me: Here’s the smell of poop still: all the perfumes of Bath and Body Works Peach Bellini antibacterial soap will not sweeten this little hand. Oh! oh! oh! 

Lady MacBeth had phantom blood and I have phantom poop smell.

See, I have two boys and while they are clean and bathe daily, and they themselves smell of Burt’s Bees and fresh air, it is my little hands that most often wipe their bottoms. Their hands remain free from the clinging, lingering scent of poop. Primarily it is the tiny centurion who is at fault. I could more easily diaper a greased piglet than put clean pants on the Huckleberry. Yet I am skilled…I never actually get the poop on my hands, mind you! I believe it is indeed, all in my mind.


And so I wash. And wash. I scrub with a nail brush. I use antibacterial wipes. And yet as I go to brush my slowly growing out bangs from my eyes I smell it, the faint smell of Hucklepoop.

Out. Out damn spot.

Perhaps I am having a mental breakdown about poop. Like Lady MacBeth was about spilling King Duncan’s blood. Alas, no poop has been spilled.

My husband says he can’t smell it, oh yeah you know I made him check. What a good man! I know my hands are completely poop free but I won’t be insulted if we ever meet and you don’t shake my hand, though I promise they are clean. So clean. Scrubbed raw and red and yet….

 Lady M. … What! will these hands ne’er be clean?

Why I am a Democrat.

The election is over and Barack Obama has been reelected. I won’t lie, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank God.

But today it was brought home to me how perhaps we have begun to classify, wrongly I hope, people in both parties. Overwhelmingly today I read that Republicans were racists who hated poor people and that Democrats are lazy and just want a hand out. I know several republicans, and they aren’t racist. I myself am a proud democrat and I am not lazy or looking for a hand out.  And so, not that you asked, I give you why I am a democrat.

First and foremost I am a democrat because I want to help others, not because I want help. I am happy to pay my taxes and happy to help others. I LOVE that we all pour our money into one great pot to take care of one another. That brings me closer to you. If you do well, I do well. If I do well, you do well. I’m thrilled to pay taxes that go to schools, roads, fire and police departments and yes…defense.

There is a misnomer in this country that you cannot be a liberal and a Patriot and I am here to tell you that is simply false. I love my country fiercely. I am grateful every single day to have been born in this great country.

We democrats, we work, we pay our taxes. We believe in God or not, we believe you have the right to believe in God…or not. We believe in family. We believe in country. We believe in lifting ourselves up by our bootstraps AND also reaching down to help someone else to do the same. We believe that a woman should have control of her own body. We believe that all rape is forcible. We believe in equal pay for equal work. We believe that old adage “give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” We believe that in order for a country as large and varied as ours to thrive we need a frame-work to exist within and that frame-work is government. We believe the government should protect all citizens. We believe the government should stay out of our bedrooms. We believe that as we move forward so must our government. That DOES NOT mean we hate the constitution, think it’s merely a suggestion or wish to destroy it. We love the Constitution.

Now for me, myself; I do believe in welfare and food stamps. I believe it needs to be reformed, it’s outdated and no longer fits the needs of those who need it. I believe there is a certain standard of living all American’s should have, no child should go hungry or unclothed and I am willing to pay into a fund that helps families with nothing have just enough that they can focus on getting out of needing it. They can focus on getting jobs, education. I believe that education is what breaks the cycle of poverty.

Of course there are those who abuse the system. There always are.

There are also billionaires who use tax loopholes they are grandfathered in on to borrow a churches tax exempt status in order to both not pay taxes and not actually give money to the Church.

Abusers abound.

But that’s no reason to not help those who so desperately need it.

I believe in Medicare, I believe in Social Security. I believe that all Americans should have access to health care and that no child should be denied coverage because they have a preexisting condition.  I believe our Veterans should never worry about their health care, both physical and mental. I believe those who serve our country are the bravest and it moves me to tears when I see them return home heroes and I grieve when one of them makes the ultimate sacrifice. Democrats do NOT hate the military.

I believe in education, I believe in making it accessible to all even if I have to contribute to educate your child. It only makes our country greater. I believe in birth control. Sure, it would be grand if everyone waited till marriage but it ain’t gonna happen and so let’s arm our people with the knowledge of how our bodies work and how to care for them. How to prevent STD’s and pregnancy is important. More education and prevention equals less abortion.

I don’t like abortion. I don’t. I could never have one, unless my life was at stake and only then because I have two beautiful children here to care for. I’ve never come across a pro-choice person who was like HELL YEAH I LOVE ABORTION! I can only make the choice for myself, I cannot chose for you-nor do I want too, but I do want you to be safe and cared for both mentally and physically should you need or want an abortion. I can only pray for more sex education and more birth control so we have fewer abortions.

I am a democrat. I am a Christian. I have strong morals. I believe in family. I believe that family comes in many shapes and sizes and colors and orientations. I believe in working for what I have. I believe in sharing what I have. I believe in loving my fellow man. I believe in raising my children to accept all kinds, and to strive to see other’s points of view. I believe in honoring the office of the Presidency, even if ‘my guy’ isn’t holding office.

So please, not all republicans are rich white racists. Not all democrats are lazy and looking out for a hand out. But all republicans and democrats are Americans.

And this democrat American loves her country.

God bless you, and God Bless America.