Minky’s Monday Musings~ Dina Lohan

Pardon my French, but you know it’s true. She is. She’s even more of a dick than that total doucher who grabbed two beers, said ‘I’m out!” and pulled the emergency slide exit on the airplane. And now he wants his job back. Dick. Also, to anyone who calls that guy a working class hero? I protest! A working class hero is a firefighter who pulls a kid from a fire, or the teacher who stocks her classroom with materials she purchased herself from her paltry income.

Those? Are working class heros. Thank you. But I digress, quelle surprise! Where was I? Oh yes, Dina Lohan. I knew Lindsey was in for it young,  you see she and I had a run in…. and now, Minky’s Monday Musings~

Sigh. For reals I think Lindsey is really talented. I do.  I hope she figures it out asap. And also I hope she goes back to her real hair.  Sorry you have such a crap mom, Linds, but there are people pulling for ya, you can do it!

Want some more Dina Lohan snark? Check out Mom in a Million and stark.raving.mad.mommy. We all agree. Lindsey has talent and Dina is a bad mom. Bad mom, go sit in the corner! I really would like to swat her plasticine nose with a magazine. Perhaps one with a coked out picture of her daughter on it.

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Minky’s Monday Musings~I am what your mother warned you about.

I am back from vacation and now I need a vacation from my vacation. Traveling with a tiny person is exhausting! Worth it though, since The Boss had a blast. And I learned several important lessons. Which I shall now share with you, my faithful and totally gorgeous readers.

The least of these lessons is if you wish to resume any sort of healthy eating routine when arriving home from said vacation please do not bring any Riverstreet Pralines home with you. Irresistable. It is not an understatement to say:

Pralines are the new kryptonite.

Related: Dear TOTT, we regret to inform you that Riverstreet Pralines will no longer be available in the DC Metro Area upon your arrival home from your business conference in sunny San Diego. {sorry Sucka!}

Most importantly, watch and learn. This is like…a very special Monday Musing. Think “on a very special episode of Blossom” important. It’s muy importante, trey important, molto importante -and very important in many other languages.

dialmforminky.com from Stephanie Dulli on Vimeo.

I’m just trying to help you out. I care. That’s the truth.

Today is the last day to VOTE FOR ME I beg of you.

Minky’s Monday Musings: I just became the Mayor of tearing out my hair.

I  have just experienced the most epic temper tantrum ever.

Oh, no. It wasn’t The Boss.

Who was it you ask? Well, who has two thumbs and writes this blog? This girl right here. Have I learned from my 23 month old? Have I taught him this behaviour?  I’m going to blame him. He’s young. He won’t remember. I mean unless he reads this eons from now and then he’ll be all hey Mom, you know what sucks? Being a tiny baby and being blamed for a grown woman’s bad behavior and I’ll be all I learned it by watching you!

{If you remember that, you can probably guess my age. but don’t.}

You see, I had such a treat planned for you on this happy day. I did. And then, like they always say “The best laid plans of mothers and toddlers with fathers who go off on three day bachelor party extravaganzas…”

What do you mean that’s not the saying? Whatever it that saying is…it applies! Harumph.

And you know the rub? I’ve been nominated for not one, but two Social Luxe Blogluxe awards! Best Eye Candy {hubba hubba} and Funniest. So yeah, not feeling any pressure now. But SQUEEEEEE!!

This is why I decided to have a hysterical fit, post a ridic vlog, and not wear any make up. Cause nothing says nice to look at like the false-advertising-waterproof mascara rings under a gal’s sleep deprived eyes.

I’m a friggin shoo-in.

Also? This vlog works best if you make it a drinking game. Every time I say ‘I lost it’ drink up ‘yo!

And now, I will beg on my knees {like your mama – oh you don’t go for your mama jokes? My apologies, but pretty please?} for you to go and vote for little ol’ me  in Funniest and Best Eye Candy. You can vote every day until 7/12.

And if I may get serious here, blogging really has changed my life. I understand the phrase it’s an honor to be nominated  now. That someone sent my little old name in means the world to me, so thanks.

And Vote.

Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to spend the rest of the day looking up other ways to say “I lost it” (you’re welcome)