A biased opinion.

My father was murdered. In the South. That man was executed.

There you have the facts. But this isn’t about me. It’s about Troy Davis who was wrongly executed last night. And Lawrence Brewer who was rightly executed.

Okay maybe it is a bit about me because I am having a crisis of faith. I have always been pro-death penalty. It’s a biased opinion, colored by our family’s experience. I grew up knowing what was taken away from me and envious even of the murderer’s children; they got 18 more years with their father than I did. At least they got to know their dad through the glass of the prison visiting room while the taxpayers paid for him to get a college degree, earning him the nickname The Professor. My father worked. He was loving son, husband and father. I don’t know his nickname.He was 24 when he was brutally murdered. Not that all murders aren’t brutal.  I feel for Officer MacPhail’s family. (And I lost my mind when Alec Baldwin tweeted something negative about them.) I can tell you flat out that the families have no say in what happens and  I remember we felt very forgotten when it was all happening. The victim of the actual crime seems to be pushed to the side at times like these, all of the focus being put on the person to be executed left us crying out what about us? What about our loss? Our loved one was tortured and this man gets a sedative? Being on this side of an execution is a tricky business it’s horrible. Even when you know beyond any shadow of a doubt that the right guy is being punished.

I don’t believe Troy Davis was the right guy, but they do, and I understand why. I understand all too well.

I also know that it is no good just to hand out ‘justice’ unless it is proper justice. It must be the right guy, just executing someone for the sake of execution is another murder. I know many of you feel that the death penalty is always murder…and here is where my crisis of faith comes into play.

Lawrence Brewer was executed last night in the same prison and the same room as the man who murdered my father was executed in. I feel nothing but peace about this. What he did to James Byrd junior is inhuman. I don’t believe he deserved to take another gasp of air. I believe the death penalty is full and just in this case.

Troy Davis was executed in Georgia, literally put down like a dog. They didn’t have the proper drugs so they used veterinary drugs usually used to euthanize animals. No physical evidence. No DNA. Seven out of nine witnesses recanted and another man confessed. I do believe his lawyers sucked.  I don’t believe he deserved to die. I believe the death penalty is a travesty and an epic tragedy in this case.

For every Lawrence Brewer there are 200 more on death row. Guilty as sin and unrepentant. So then there must also be more Troy Davises. I am not quite ready to say no death penalty, but I am not sure how to prevent another clearly innocent man from dying.

Will this case bring an end to capital punishment in America? Will it bring a much needed review and revamping of our process?

I like to think that when Troy Davis got to heaven God wrapped his arms around him and said “I know. But you were the man for the job. The man who could bring to light how flawed this system is. You did well, my child. Now rest and be comforted.”

Because Troy Davis you did do your job well. My crisis of faith is in full swing. My heart bleeds for your family, and for the family of Officer MacPhail. There is no winner in a murder case. There can only be a scar that never fully heals but it always sensitive and sore.

Minky’s Monday Musing~ Target, we need to talk.

I’m ten kinds of upset and not even my swoony President Obama afterglow can settle me down. In fact, Mr. President just gets me fired me up even more! We must fight injustice! We need Equality! Our president is The Hotness!

Wait, one of those three was kinda inappropriate.  Oh well, I stand by all three statements.

It has been brought to my attention that The Target Corporation-which has by and large been pretty groovy and cool – has donated a doctorate sized student loan amount of money to a very conservative Republican candidate who is pretty dang anti-gay.  {You can read the Huffington Post Article on it here. Obviously I encourage you to always do the research on things yourself and make up your own mind, but this is my lil old blog and I am the sad over this. Esp. cause The Boss busted my gold aviators and sigh…where else to get them for 12.99?}

Now, listen…I get it, it’s legal and all. But the demographic of Target shoppers is by and large younger, hipper and groovier. And thus (one would surmise) pretty gay friendly. I myself am gay friendly. Actually, scratch that. I’m just plain old friendly. Whether you are gay or straight isn’t an issue for me at all. I do however care if you’re nice, a good person and whether you wear white after labor day.

Okay, I was kidding about the antiquated fashion rule…plus? Winter white, people.

{Why yes, that is Reverend Minky uniting The Boss’ Guncles in marriage. I lurve them.}

I am also in love with Target. You can see my problem.  And so, this weeks musing is my letter to Target, I don’t know how to quit you…but you gotta fix this!

One of these days I am going to y’know, get dressed up for a vlog instead of filming it at 11 p.m. on Sunday. I said to TOTT grab the Flip video and meet me in the bedroom.He was totes disappointed that I just wanted to holler at Target. Also, HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT TARGET????????

Target, you are the Edward to my Bella…

Target it doesn’t HAVE to be the one I suggested, The Human Rights Campaign, but I really think they’re the way to go! You have to do SOMETHING BIG to reach out to the community and make this right. Please. Cause I. Miss. You. Already.

Dude, my hair. I cry like The Boss at 3 a.m. Sob.

Friday Fabulousness~ Blogger Body Calendar

This week was so fabulous I had a hard time picking one thing! I mean, we had the Boss’ Birthday, went to a Nationals Game and of course… I saw the President of the United States speak. Which is like…Lifetime Fabulousness really.

Someone may or may not have gotten up on to the photographer’s dias and taken pictures with the big boys. Relalted: I have camera envy.

I’ll do a full write up of that asap but rest assured that it was brilliant and amazing. I left inspired and very proud to be American and proud to be a parent.

But my Friday Fabulousness this week is The Blogger Body Calendar.

I don’t think I have ever really written about my eating disorder, not even in a journal but this project hits close to home to me and I thought perhaps now is the time to share. I am one of the lucky ones, I made it out the  other side and today I am honored to be the featured Guest Blogger. I was taken aback by how hard it was to write. How once I started I wanted to write more and more about it, make it perfect and at the same time I wanted to bottle it all up and not share.

So I sent it off unedited and full of misspellings because I knew I would chicken out …and they kindly allowed me to clean it up a bit. I had to send it right then or I never would have

For some reasong sharing makes it less mine, it breaks the bond between me and my eating disorder a little bit more. More space between us.  Whatever cracked up crazy sense that makes. It’s one more way of letting go of it. When you get over an eating disorder you are left with a big question: Who am I if I am not that? My eating disodrer was so all emcompassing it was my identity along with my addiction. And it almost killed me.

Now I know who I am without being The Girl With The Eating Disorder or The Bulimic, or any of the other labels I carried around that helped make me The Girl With The Eating Disorder, but it was a tough road to get here.

So, I ask you for a favor. Please read my post over there today. Please take the time, comment if you feel like it, and if you are struggling or know someone who is please know I am here…just an email away to supprt.

 I hope you know, each and every one of you, how amazing you are. How strong and resiliant our bodies are. Trust me on this one, you can (but don’t) abuse your body to the point where it almost stops working entirely and (very slowly) it can re heal. 

Eating disorders grow more prevalant by the day, our girls in particular are subjected to not only unattainable physical goals but false altered images and that bridge between self worth and physical beauty is short to cross and hard to cross back.

This weekend try to identify when you think a bad thought about yourself…we think hard thoughts about ourselves all the time and we need to stop.
I would never say to anyone some of the things I find myself thinking to a friend. So I challenge us to treat ourselves as we would a good friend. With forgiveness.
Be kind to yourselves this weekend! You make my life brighter and I can only hope I’ve brought a giggle to your life a time or two as well.

Please check out the Blogger Body Calendar. All proceeds will benefit the National Eating Disorder Association and hey, while you’re there, maybe give my little essay a read. It is entitled

As it turns out, I wanted to live.

Because, y’know I do.

What was fabulous in your life this week? I want to know!

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The walk of shame

I’ve got a confession. I am a happily married woman, but last January I performed the Walk of Shame. If you’re not familiar with the walk of shame then you obviously didn’t go to college. Or you did go to college but it was BYU or Catholic, although I’m pretty sure that Catholic has seen it’s fair share of the W.O.S. (Unrelated I totally want to go to Catholic to finish my Religion degree, they have a study abroad program that makes me one of the Woo Girls) or you’re a Duggar; which is unlikely as they frown on the internet lest their girls be exposed to things like jeans, women’s rights and current hairstyles.

But I digress…Quelle Surprise! 

Just like any affair, it began innocently enough. In this instance I was egged on by my friends Rachell and Janice.

Trust me, you’ll love it said Rachell.

I can’t stop myself said Janice.

I’m too old for this! I protested.

I’m older than you, Rach reminded me then told me just how good it felt to be naughty.

He is so hot, Stephanie, he’s delicious. Janice implored.

So I gave in. And it was good. Good in that way that M&M’s are good. No nutritional value whatsoever but you can’t.stop.eating.them. Before I knew it I was staying up late, waiting till everyone fell asleep and then sneaking off to indulge. 

And then it happened. The Walk of Shame.

Nervously I approached him, flushing as his hand touched mine as I handed it to him.

He said: Exchange?

I said: Yes. 

And blushed further. And just like any guilty person I couldn’t stop talking, offering far too many details.

I vomited out: I bought it for my niece but she already had it so I just need the last one. For my niece. She doesn’t have that one.


Not even 36 hours earlier I had stood in that same Borders and reached for the book, fingers touching it just a fraction of a second before the 13 year old girl who was just opening her mouth to say “Mom, can I have…” I plucked up the book right as her fingers grasped the now empty space where it had been. She gaped at me in disbelief and, God help me, I smiled triumphantly and trounced up to the register. Thrilled that I had gotten the last copy – stolen right out from underneath a child.

Now I shamefully clutched the bag with the newly exchanged final book secured for my non-existent niece to my chest and hurried out into the night, wearing yesterdays yoga pants, tank and hoodie. It was indeed a Literary Shame F***, j
ust as Rachell had said it would be, and as I walked the Walk of Shame I thought man, it was worth it! 

I had an affair with Twilight and my husband didn’t divorce me. He did however, suggest therapy.

Also? Renesmee? Stupidest name ever.