picture from GeneralHospital.tv, decoration by moi.
Whoohoo! What a good week in Soap Land, although still no word on my Embassy and my diplomatic license plates have not yet arrived. I’m wondering if I have immunity in Port Charles because if so, I am headed there right this very minute to kill a stripper. (What? That is what diplomats are always doing on Law & Order? ) Then I can totally say to Mac: “I have immunity. You cannot touch me. Go make out with the D.A.”
I’m picturing some sort of vaguely evil Russian accent when I say it.
One flaw in my plan, there are no strippers in Port Charles anymore because Coleman the Evil and Despicable who forced Jason’s old love Courtney the Good and Pure to strip is now just Coleman. The dude who hosts karaoke at the bar and refuses to serve underage minors, even if they are the Mob Boss’ son.
Everyone in Port Charles clearly suffered some sort of Flash Forward moment, except that instead of seeing the future they all had their minds erased of Coleman’s past evilosity.
Thus exhibiting one of my favorite things about Soap Life. I love it when whole characters are miraculously shifted (or aged, or recast) to suit the new story line. Love it! My fav example of this is Rick, Sonny’s half bro who was sooooo evil what while married to the Lovely Liz (now in the looney bin for sleeping with the Brothers Grimm), he kidnapped Carly and kept her (pregnant with Sonny’s actual baby) chained to a table in a back room of his house. Poor woman. A table? Dude, I have most comfortable bed evah and I was crazy uncomfy when pg. He could have at least chained her to a Lazy Boy recliner! Is Rick in jail? Oh no. He is a big wig lawyer man in P.C., and had a baby with Alexis, who also has a baby with Sonny.
Hmmmm. Rick and Sonny are way more grimm than Nikolas and Lucky( a.k.a. the Brothers Grimm) and yet Alexis? Not binned once.
This week begins Sonny’s Murder Trial (part duex) for murdering his wife Claudia and HOLY BUCKETS! (did it work? Can I pull it off?) Dakin Matthews is playing the judge! Squee of delight as, to quote Buddy the Elf: “I know him!” Dakin is a huge deal in the LA Theatre world, working all over creation in everything from small under 99 seat houses to the Ahmandson, where he did Jersey boys with my future brother in law Mahmood! He is a rock star and while I never was blessed to work from him he was always kind and generous with both compliments and advice.
Sooooooo, Sonny was on trial before when he shot Carly, but he isn’t on trial yet for shooting Dante yet…maybe later. Unless Dante suddenly has a come-to-daddy moment. ( He ‘accidentally’ shot himself.) Anything is possible.
Sonny is *gasp* innocent this time, he lied to protect his son Michael who actually murdered Claudia (Sarah Joy Brown). (sidenote *total name drop #2, I met SJB at a party/fundraiser at a mutual friends house and she is tiny. Tiny. She has bird bones. If you sneezed on her she’d probably fall right over. Except that she is all muscle. So if you sneezed on her she’d probably be like ‘eeeeewwww!’ and then junk punch you and you’d fall over. So make yourselves a note: Self, don’t sneeze on SJB. It’s rude. Also? she gave me the last chocolate covered strawberry, so she’s good people.)
Anyway, Sonny lied to protect his son Michael. Of course Sonny isn’t actually Michael’s baby daddy, Carly was straight married to AJ (Jason’s brother) who was a total loooooser, but after lots of drama, Sonny and Carly’s star crossed status got un-crossed and the Mob Boss steps to the plate as the exemplification of the good father. Daddy!!!
Here’s the thing, if they had just told the truth from the start (I know…I know,what am I thinking?)it would have been fine, but nooooooooooooooooooo.
If your step-mom kidnaps your 9 month pg mom (this time by Jax; which is a whole other kettle of fish and also reminds me that I still miss Brenda) and takes her to a remote cabin in the woods where mom goes into stress labor and pops out a baby sans drugs and then threatens to leave your mom to die and takes the new, amazingly large and clean, baby…well then, you’d have to stop her! And Michael didn’t mean to kill her…but oh no! Sonny and Jason have been outside the law too long people. They’ve no idea that sometimes shizz just happens and telling the truth is good. Ah well…how else would we get to glimpse into the slow destruction of Michael’s mental state?
Oh! Liz/Michael hook up in the Looney Bin? Stranger things have happened.
Whatever. I can’t wait for next week, cause yay! more Dakin!
*I am a participant in a Mom Central campaign for ABC Daytime and will receive a tote bag or other General Hospital branded items to facilitate my review.