That sound? Is my dignity scurrying away…

{photo by kate monroe}

Yup. Tuesday was three flights. Three. With a toddler who was crazy over tired. From Salt Lake City to Chicago and from Chicago to Atlanta and Atlanta to Myrtle Beach. Each leg of the flight brought an ever smaller plane and  cranky toddler to tears.

By the time we landed I was done, TOTT was done and The Boss was DONER THAN DONE. Done.

Our flight didn’t get in until 10 p.m. and The Boss was rubbing his little red eyes as he showed off his new somersaulting skillz to his great grandparents. He rock and rolls and he just plain rolls. The Boss- multi talented.

A quick dunk in the tub and we commenced getting his new alligator pj’s on.

My mother in law- Ma- was giving him belly zerberts and kissing him up and down when she  held out her hand and asked for a diaper.

I proceeded to hand her a tampon.
Nice. She said I don’t think that will do.  Indeed not,  thought I. Blushing a bit and handing her  a good old fashioned Huggies overnight. Much more suitable for a 23 month old boy, don’t you think?

I then handed her the A&D diaper ointment and said: here is the K-Y.

Oh, Mah GAH!!!! What did I just say? HERE IS THE K-Y???? Now my mother in law is cool, but still! I was so embarrassed and tired I just started giggling uncontrollably. The giggles came back and bit me throughout the night and even a time or two today.

I die. I am so embarrassed! And the worst is I can’t even explain to her that I had K-Y on the brain for an innocent reason! I was just reading about how some people use K-Y to attach baby bows to their little baby girls head.

Say what?  Is this common practice? Random. Hello, that’s what eyelash glue is for peeps!

Oh well.  Perhaps after one more nights sleep I will be able to tell the difference between A&D ointment and K-Y.

Let’s all hope, non?

Hawaii 5-O.

Today we take off to Los Angeles, and then to HAWAII!! I am so looking forward to this, despite two 5 hour flights with a toddler. Heaven help us all.
Luckily between the flights there will be two days of play time with sister Dub, WWJD, and their two amazing little boys Zuzu and Ben.
I cannot wait!
After our little LA respite we’ll be off to celebrate the union of Max’s Guncles. I am honored to be performing the ceremony as these two lovebirds finally make honest men out of one another.
And to anyone who bristles about the sanctity of marriage I present to you:

Photo from

Max’s Guncles have been together for longer than my husband and I, and I am so looking forward to the big party celebrating their decision to spend the rest of their lives together. I will try to blog from Hawaii, and at least post some lovely pictures…although I must warn you, I appear to be impervious to spray tans and self tanners. So, I’d like to apologize in advance for my whiter shade of paleness and invite you to possibly don sunglasses before viewing the upcoming pictures so as to avoid white blinded eye damage.
I’m a little nervy about flying with a toddler who in the last three days has suddenly gone from easy going dude, to TODDLER TYRANT! The tantrums this sweet angel is throwing are dramatical to say the least. I wonder where on earth he might have inherited that from?

Anyhoo, I’ve found the sunblock and packed everything I can until the Stinker wakes from his nap…and away we go! Wish us luck!!!

I’ll try to pop on, but since we live in the 90’s and have not a laptop amongst us (HOW WILL I SURVIVE!) it might not happen. I hope you will all patiently await my return, I promise to regail you with silly tales of the islands. Promise.  And then be patient again, as I try to catch up on my blog reading, which is certain to be crazy overwhelming!