Heartsick.


Last week  our local news reported a story that just ripped my heart out. A 12 year old boy playing in his own backyard had been swept away by a flash flood. Gone. Just like that. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I found out via twitter that the beautiful boy lost was the son of a local blogger. Local to me. Right around the corner and a blogger. I have never met her or her children, I’ve never read her blog before… I’m not sure how we never connected  as she is another spray paint everything thing that doesn’t move thrift store kinda gal just like me. I did what so many of us did, I went to her blog and  ‘met’ her family. I cried at the pictures of her beautiful boy and gorgeous girl dressed in their uniforms ready for the first day of school. 7th and 5th grade.

Now only one of them will go to school.

I found myself reading and reading and reading. I read her whole blog.  I had only intended to stop by and leave a comment telling her my heart was with her. Because it was. It is.  But one post led to another and then I liked her. A lot. So I just read and read and read. She is funny, she has the same kind of humor I do. I laughed along with her at life’s foibles and loved seeing her household projects.  I wished I’d known of her blog before the tragedy. I wish I’d been following all along. I wish I could do SOMETHING. Anything to ease her pain.  Share her burden.

Maybe that is why I and so many others ran to her blog, not to rubberneck. but to in some tiny way share her burden. To let her know that even if we are in the internet, we are THERE. We are trying to make sense of it and coming up with nothing.Nothing. How can a beautiful boy be here one minute and then gone the next? Maybe we all hug our children closer and think of Anna and her Jack. Maybe we hug our children for Anna who can no longer hug her son.

I’m not sure. There is a part of me who wants to march over to her home and scoop her up in my arms and hold her. Just hold her and let her cry and cry along with her. Of course she has people who actually know her to do this. She certainly doesn’t need some stranger from blogland to do it. She has her family. I hope that she knows in some small way, that when her husband wraps his arms around her as she wraps her arms around her daughter that I am in my heart wrapping my arms around all of them. Perhaps you are too. And around my arms and your arms and her husband’s and hers are God’s.

 

I’m holding you close Anna. For now that will have to be enough as I am powerless to do more. You have all my thoughts and prayers.

 

 

Sometimes love through the internet has to Just Be Enough.